Loving HIS Little Ones.

A few days ago, I posted this picture on Instagram:

And I felt like I needed to expound on it. This experience was and still is a very personal one that Drew and I hold close to our hearts! We are grateful for answered prayers and for these two beautiful girls! I feel so humbled that God is allowing us to love and raise HIS sweet daughters!

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Shortly after Drew and I were married, (and I mean really short, like, a month!) I felt a strong impression that it was time to have a baby. I think I probably gave Drew a heart attack when I approached him with the subject. This isn't the first time I had bombarded him with a huge decision in a very short amount of time. (I told him I loved him and wanted to marry him 3 weeks after we started dating, but that's probably a separate blog post.)

His response to my crazy, irrational ideas was and still always is calm and loving. We talked about different concerns we had. Things like "We can't afford it", "We're still in school", "We just got married, shouldn't we get to know each other first?" and I'm sure there were a few more. But regardless of how many "excuses" we came up with, I couldn't shake this feeling that it was time to have a baby. 

The October LDS General Conference was fast approaching, so we decided to take our dilemma to the Lord. We both watched General Conference with the question "to have kids or not" fresh in our minds. I have a very strong testimony that if you write down a question or a few questions in preparation for General Conference, all of them will be answered. This has happened to me many times and I didn't expect this time to be any different. 

We patiently waited and listen to each person who got up and spoke to the public about what God needed us to hear. The Saturday Morning session was nice, but it really didn't address the question that was pressing so heavily on both of our minds. However, it didn't take long before the Lord heard our pleas and during the Saturday Afternoon session, Elder Neil L. Andersen gave this message. 

After he gave that beautiful message, Drew and I tearfully (happy tears) embraced! We both knew right then, that no matter how many reasons we could come up with to not have children, there was one reason to have children that trumped them all; God asked us. 

So many things from Elder Andersen's address spoke straight to my heart. 

“Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for.”

“If you are concerned about providing financially for a wife and family, may I assure you that there is no shame in a couple having to scrimp and save. It is generally during these challenging times that you will grow closer together as you learn to sacrifice and to make difficult decisions.”

He talked about and gave many examples about couples in the scriptures (Bible AND Book of Mormon) having children in faith. He reminds us that even the Savior of the world entered into this life in the most humbling of circumstances. 

But the comment that spoke to me the loudest was probably, 

"What a wonderful blessing we have to receive sons and daughters of God into our home."

They are HIS children. He is entrusting them to our care. It didn't matter that we were only 19 and 22 years old, it didn't matter that we had only been married a month and a half and it didn't matter that we were still in school or felt like we weren't financially ready for children. The Lord gave us this commandment and he would provide a way for us to accomplish it. Children are a blessing! Some days I need to be reminded of this many times over. It isn't always easy having young children, but it will ALWAYS BE WORTH IT! By having children, we are fulfilling part of God's eternal plan and because of that, we will always have His help. 

Two months later, right after Christmas, we found out we were expecting our first child. Not once in our 3 and a half years of marriage have I regretted having children so quickly. Occasionally, thoughts about what life would be like if we didn't have kids yet will enter into my mind and it makes me feel almost empty thinking about it. Sure, we might have more money, I might have a full time job and we might have our own house, but eternal happiness doesn't come from material possessions. I feel most happy, when Abbi says, "I yub you Mama" and plants a kiss on my face! I feel most happy, when Lily smiles at me or falls asleep in my arms. I receive true happiness from raising and loving God's beautiful children. It's as simple as that.