Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Inadequate.

Last night I laid in bed for almost three hours before I was able to fall asleep! I hate nights like that! My mind was going crazy and had like a Bajillion things going through it at the same time! One of the thoughts on my mind last night was that I am struggling. I am a mother, wife, sister, daughter, teacher, friend, cousin, example, etc. That is a lot to be right? I guess I was just feeling overwhelmed last night. What am I doing in my life to fulfill each one of those roles? Am I doing enough? I came to the conclusion that I am not. 

I'm a mother. I love my daughter and take care of her but we probably watch too much TV and eat too much junk food. I need to give more of my attention to her and less to social media. 
I'm a wife. I love my husband and I tell him that but I could probably be better at showing him that I love him. I should be more consistent about making healthy dinners and keeping the house picked up! {I've been especially struggling with cleaning the house lately}
I'm a sister. I love my sisters and I think they know that but why don't I call them more?! When we all lived at home we were kinda forced to talk to each other and sure we fought quite a bit, but I knew what was going on in their life. My older sister was sick for almost a whole week and I didn't even know about it until she posted about it on her blog and my younger sister just went to Homecoming. I heard she had a good time, but I haven't even called her to see how it went. 
I'm a daughter. My mother is such a great example to me and she has been my whole life! We talk on the phone quite often but do I show her how much I appreciate her? Do I send her little notes in the mail or call just to tell her I love her? 
I'm a teacher. I obviously have the responsibility to teach Abbigail and help her grow and develop. However, currently I also have the calling of "nursery leader" in my ward. I have really learned to love the sweet children I work with! They know I love them and I think we all really enjoy our time together on Sundays. But I have so much room for improvement. Instead of looking at the manual on Sunday morning, I need to prepare for my lesson all week long. Two of my girls had birthdays last month and I had NO idea. I could have brought them little treats to make them feel special, but I didn't. 

I could go on and on, but you get the idea? I have every intention of being better, but where do I even start?! I feel like I need to change SO much about myself and I feel so overwhelmed. I finally fell asleep last, woke up and this was still weighing heavily on my mind. I decided to turn to the scriptures and conference talks! They always seem to ease my mind. I found a talk given by Elder David A. Baxter titled "Overcoming Feelings of Inadequacy." Obviously, this was exactly what I needed to read. In his talk he clearly states: 

You're Better Than You Think You Are! 

 "When things go wrong in our lives, it is easy to lose all sense of perspective. We forget our divine inheritance, when we should remember that we come from heavenly parents who love us. We are impatient for instant solutions, when often it is the passage of time that will allow things to work out. We ignore or downplay our strengths and abilities, just at the time we should be recognizing and applying them."


So that's what I'm going to do! I need to stop thinking that I am simply "not good enough!" That is a lie!  I am a daughter of God! I am beautiful, smart, determined, strong, reliable, loyal and I am more than enough! I need to strengthen my relationship with my Heavenly Father and my Savior! God has called me to each one of these roles! I know I can turn to him and he will help me to feel more confident and able to fulfill the roles I have! 


Has anyone else struggled with feelings of inadequacy?


What have you done to overcome those feelings?

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